


Shut your mouth and run me like a river

by reylotrashpiler (Hosnianprime)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Multiple Orgasms, POV Multiple, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Smuggler Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:21:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21732100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hosnianprime/pseuds/reylotrashpiler
Summary: He taps into the Force and gently enters her mind, mouth gone dry. He can't remember the last time he so blatantly misused his abilities but tonight he plans to spit in the face of everything he ever was. Jedi, Sith, all of it. All for her.If it’s even just for a few hours, he is determined to make her forget the past, the universe, her body, herown name.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 255





	Shut your mouth and run me like a river

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill from 1.5 years ago. Prompt was: “My life isn’t something you want to know about." there is a version of this on tumblr somewhere (posted by me) but here it is on popular demand! Unbetad.

He didn't want this to be a one night stand, but she was too good for him to imagine anything remotely more anyway, Ben thinks as he is kissing her mouth, sweet from the wine they drank. 

Her Force signature glows so strong it's blinding, even stronger than the first time he felt it shine through the dull crowd of the bar on this dirtball. Months of stolen glances and heated cheeks turned into something familiar to fall back to between his missions. He doesn't know what but something made him feel like felt it was time to make a move this visit. 

In another life, in another timeline she would have been recruited at a small age, probably by his uncle, raised and trained to be a Jedi. She would be a Knight by now, powerful and gentle and, later, her radiating kindness would have predestined her to be the textbook definition of a Master. His heart aches at her wasted potential. She should and  _ could  _ be so much more than just a waitress on this forsaken planet, surrounded by the scums of the galaxy. 

He wants to tell her what power she has, but it's  _ her _ life and he has no right to make it crumble, no right to forcibly change it. The Force brings devastation, he reminds himself. Price for your power. 

He tries to be selfless this one time, to shield her from himself because offering her to teach her is too tempting. She seems to be okay here, at ease with her life, no matter how perfunctory it is for his taste and he doesn't want to touch it, for his touch carries death and destruction. 

Her fingers comb through his hair and he sighs into her mouth. It feels like a benediction that he is absolutely unworthy of. Her lips curl into a sweet smile, one he never ceased to remember on the long weeks away from her. He makes it his mission to kiss it into his memory. 

_ It’s only this one time.  _

Her hands slide under his shirt and onto his back. 

_ Kriff. _

But it’s too late to move, her fingers already trace thick ropes of skin, long, badly healed scars. Her kiss stutters. In the Force a chill runs through her. His body is intimidating, he knows that, yet another thing he hates about himself. Despite his best effort, he still managed to scare her.  _ Great _ . Yet, the next moment it's not fear but  _ compassion  _ rolling off her in the Force, warm and shuddering like a heatwave. 

“Ben… Where did you get these?” she asks gently, pulling away and studying his eyes.

“My life isn’t something you want to know about, trust me,” he tries to evade to answer and – although it's intended to be a lighthearted dodge sealed with a hungry kiss – Rey can feel the immense bitterness in the way he pulls her closer as if to shield himself from something threatening to burst the bubble of their joy. 

Ben wills himself to concentrate on her, instead of the force-lightnings, and everything involving his former self as Kylo Ren. In vain. The all-consuming dull loneliness that is his soul since he made the First Order fall bubbles to the surface. 

There was nothing left for him afterwards; no master, no purpose, no parents and it’s only really the irony of faith that he could only think of one option to spend his (he hopes not so long) life - as a smuggler, just like his father. 

Rey wants to protest — she would very much like to know just about everything about this young man who seems to be too burdened for his pretty face — but she reminds herself that they are practically strangers. And yet. 

_ You are not alone,  _ she thinks, willing him to hear her,  _ I’ll help you. _ Her lips caress his as she takes his hands firmly. 

First, she runs his fingers along a scar on her forearms, where she burnt herself a month ago with the kitchen stove. 

Ben inhales sharply as her unconsciously projected memories hit him in the Force. His hands are guided under the hem of her shirt, to her waist where a particularly unfortunate scavenging left a badly healed mark. An electric wire, when she was fifteen.

Her shirt rides up, as she continues walking him through her past. On her back, a burn mark left by the touch of an overheated part of the AT-AT she lived in. She was only ten.

He can't restrain himself any longer. He needs more, he needs to see  _ everything _ .

When he plunges into her mind, he is hit by the barren dunes of Jakku.  _ Sand _ . So much sand. Stripes on the wall. Solitude. Grief. Stubbornness. 

Rey feels the intrusion, closed eyes twitching slightly. She feels him in her mind, in her head but doesn't close herself off. Every picture, every sensation she recalls feels like his own. 

She leads his hands, touching every little scar she has and sheds their clothes methodically. Finally, she places his fingers on a series of crescent shaped marks on her inner thigh. Marks of hands that should never have been there. He kisses her with desperation upon seeing the memory, the moment of utter panic in which she fought back and a sharp guilt when she stabbed the skintrader in the back, a fountain of blood spilling from his mouth. 

“Rey,” he whispers but his voice cracks. 

What could he  _ possibly  _ say? What  _ should  _ he say at all? 

She was just fine - well, at least functioning - without him all her life. She doesn't need his comfort or his pity. What she  _ needs _ from him in exchange for baring her soul, her past, her pain to him just to comfort him - a misplaced pillow talk, as if her utter chagrin ever qualified as pillow talk - is more primal, more urgent.

Attention. Affection.  _ Ecstasy _ . 

He pulls back for a second, assessing her. Her smile is reassuring, her cheeks are flushed and he wonders again how her heart can be so pure, where that endless selflessness wells from, when she had nothing,  _ nothing _ all her life,  _ how _ she can give so much to an almost complete stranger just for the exchange of a lay.

He is bereft of speech. But  _ actions…  _ Actions speak louder than words.

“Let me take care of you,” he pleads. 

Rey licks her lower lip, and then nods resolutely, feeling that she stands on the edge of something unspeakable. His eyes are brown, the color of Corellian whiskey. Honest and deep. 

He taps into the Force and gently enters her mind, mouth gone dry. He can't remember the last time he so blatantly misused his abilities but tonight he plans to spit in the face of everything he ever was. Jedi, Sith, all of it. All for  _ her _ .

If it’s even just for a few hours, he is determined to make her forget the past, the universe, her body, her own  _ name _ . 

Replaying a wet dream she had just a few days ago is all it takes to make her come the first time. She gasps quietly, encircled in his arms and ginger kisses, taken by surprise by his telepathic powers and her climax. It's nothing earth shattering but just enough to make her hungry for more. 

He pauses for a second attentively, seeing her slight trepidation and excitement about  _ what  _ this is going to be. Her skin is covered in goosebumps as she lets herself go.

He kisses her temple reverently, rewarding her pliance. His mind starts to snake deeper into hers, just like the old days when he extracted information,  _ screw the Siths, they never knew this could be used for pleasure,  _ while his lips trace every inch of her. Her shivering body is covered by his hands and he marvels briefly how disproportionately huge his fingers feel on her slithe figure. 

Rey is dizzy with worship, her bones and mind molten in his arms. There is an unjustified amount of trust in her ever since they started kissing, and now that he knows she doesn’t mind any of his scars, she just wants to lay down her problems, her mask of cheerfulness, the crushing weight of standing upright under her conditions at his feet. He seems strong enough to be able to carry them for a little while. 

The sweet huffs of air that escape her are entirely too endearing, Ben thinks, and he is not unaffected by her tracing hands either.

The attraction for him he now sees in her mind sends chills down his spine on a completely different level than before. Since he shed his mask and black clothes, he has been constant subject of female attention. Giving into his Solo blood, he now caught up on eschewed bodily pleasures. But none of them was like this, and he briefly wonders whether he will be able to touch anyone else after they are done. Not likely.

Being at her service is a new high he wants to ride until he can. 

There are more fantasies of explicit scenarios and when he finds them, tucked away deep in her mind, his mouth waters. It is a rather colourful selection and entirely not what he expected from innocent-looking Rey.

He picks one he likes, then he gently eases first one, then two fingers into her, while he projects into her mind fucking her just the way she imagines she likes it. As she unravels, he penetrates her even more in every sense of the way. 

Oh  **_this_ ** ,  _ this one is sweet _ , he smirks ducking between her legs spreading them. Rey is entirely engulfed in her mind, he doesn’t bother trailing kisses down her body before he unceremoniously begins lapping at her clit. Her hands are in his hair, but he  _ knows  _ where she wants them. So he commands her arms above her head in a Force grip, while he parts her folds wide with his fingers, his other hand coaxing at her sweet spot and it doesn’t take long until she comes again. 

Now that he has found them, he takes all of her secret wishes and makes them and  _ her  _ come true, one by one. He finds that sparkling string in her mind where her pleasure pulsate and  _ pulls.  _ He doesn't count but she came probably at least seven times before she aches for  _ him,  _ not in her imagination but in real time and space. She is non-verbal but her mind is strong, so strong in the Force, pulling him, begging him to fill her.

He hesitates.  _ Wouldn't it be selfish? _

Rey answers for him. She opens her eyes although at this level of intertwined minds she shouldn’t be able to control her thoughts at all. His breath hitches as her clear gaze meets him, pulling him into her scorching heat, her walls so tight and slick from the previous orgasms that he hisses when he enters her. 

He doesn’t withdraw his mind even as their eyes lock, wanting to see what she wants  _ exactly.  _ Finding the right spot this way takes only mere seconds and both their eyes roll back into their heads. Sloppy kisses, wandering hands, drawn-out moans and he doesn’t know anymore where he ends and she begins. 

“Faster, Kylo,” she breaths into his ear. He stills in his tracks.  _ How…. _

“I see your mind. I know who you are,” she croons into his soul but her body remains welcoming. “I'm not afraid. Lay down your worries. Let us have tonight,” she lilts.

Lifting his head, he takes in her warm smile.  _ How can she  _ not _ want to leave me? _ Her hand reassuringly caresses his face, tracing the outline of his sharp features, the marks on his back as she waits for him to fuck her into the bed. 

_ This must be the other side of the Force. I am dead and a Force-ghost,  _ he deadpans.

“No, you are not,” she chuckles and pulls him down for a kiss. This girl doesn’t even second-guess that they are reading each other's minds, he realises. There is a hunger in him way darker than any Sith trance as he starts moving while he devours her in open-mouthed kisses. 

When he picks up pace, she tightens her grip and he damn hopes that her fingers’ marks override the force-lightnings — his whole life actually. 

She is holding on for dear life,  _ yes, yes, _ she feels him so deep, so  _ dedicated _ to  _ her,  _ their scarred bodies and souls dissolving in forgiving pleasure on every level of the existence. 

“Come into me, please,” she pants as he fucks her into the bed. He tops it with a projection of his tongue on her clit and she cries out for mercy, because it's too good, mere seconds away from the next high.

Better than in her fantasies, better than any holo-novel she has ever read. It doesn't take long until they ride her last orgasm together and she is boneless, breathless, satiated, floating.  _ Featherlight _ . 

Their chest is heaving in unison, gulping for air. He kisses her silly,  _ thank you, thank you, thank you,  _ his mind screams.  _ If there is love at first sight, there sure is love at first twofold fucking mind-reading, right? _

A few hours later, when they are lying in bed, showered and clean, limbs tangled like they always belonged together, he turns to her. 

“Come with me, Rey,” he whispers pleadingly. “I can show you the ways of the Force.”

She laughs at the unintended double entendre and turns to face him. His expression is a trembling hopefulness and she sees that he was dead serious. She bites her lip. She has friends here, almost like a family, grown attached to her - as they say -  _ bright _ personality. Former Kylo Ren now-Ben-Solo-again however sees her for who she truly is. And if he could make love to her like he did (she shivers at that thought) just to wash away the bitter taste of her history… there sure is more. 

“Okay,” she answers. 

Ben doesn't even react first. He has been preparing to accept her rejection. When the understanding dawns on him, his eyes widen. Rey smiles, and then it's excited kisses all over her body, as exhilaration takes over him. 

_ Marry me, please?, _ he yells in his mind but when he hears Rey snort, he knows he is not alone in his own head anymore. 

“No. You are not alone,” she answers gently. Then she turns him underneath her with a wicked smile and Ben Solo is sure he will repeat that question aloud in the foreseeable future. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hullo, please leave a comment or and emoji to let me know what you felt? Thanks.


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